


Anywhere You Are (Is Home)

by canadduh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Christmas fic, Discord - Freeform, Doctor Castiel (Supernatural), Dr. Sexy - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, HolidayMixtape2019, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Miscommunication, Mixtape2019, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadduh/pseuds/canadduh
Summary: Cas meets Dean on a Discord server, Dean helps him finish writing a fic, they fall in love.The rest is, as they say, history.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 100
Collections: Holiday Mixtape 2019, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic literally would not have happened without [Maggie the bestest friend a person could ask for ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieMaybe160)
> 
> Written for the [ Holiday Mixtape](https://holidaymixtape.tumblr.com/)

****

**SeaofBees:** Dean  
 _ **Impala67:**_ yes?  
 **SeaofBees:** What are you doing in December?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ christmas with Sam  
 _ **Impala67**_ : work  
 _ **Impala67:**_ why?  
 **SeaofBees** : I may or may not be looking at plane tickets to Kansas.  
 **SeaofBees** : Would December 26th-30th work? Maybe later depending on when it’s cheapest to fly back.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : wait?  
 _ **Impala67**_ : are you serious???  
 **SeaofBees:** Deadly.  
 **SeaofBees:** Seems like the 26th to the 2nd is the cheapest  
 **SeaofBees:** Let me know if that works for you?  
 ** _Impala67:_ **i’ll talk to Sammy.  
 **SeaofBees** : Alright.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ it works!  
 **SeaofBees** : Hell yes!  
 _ **Impala67:**_ *screams* i am so excited  
 **SeaofBees:** Just 5 months.

Cas pulls ingredients for a homemade soup out of the cupboards. Holiday music plays from his phone resting on the microwave, weaving through the room.

“How’d you meet him again?” Uriel asks, sitting at the patio table they have squished into their two-bedroom apartment.

“The internet, Uriel,” Cas sighs. He gets that he is worried, but can’t his roommate just be happy for him for once? “It’s capable of more than just porn.”

“You met him on a discord chat for Dr. Sexy,” Uriel deadpans. “Isn’t that basically porn?”

Cas turns to glare at his roommate and his shit-eating grin. He gives up and rolls his eyes when his reaction just makes Uriel start laughing.

“Tell me more about him, Castiel,” Uriel requests gently after moments of silence.

Cas likes talking about Dean, so he does.

“He’s very smart, Uriel, but he doubts himself a lot,” Cas says with a soft smile that he knows only appears when Dean is involved. “He dropped out of college to take care of his brother, but he knows a lot of things about a lot of things. He’s nice to talk to. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gone a day without talking since we started.”

“And he lives in Kansas?” Uriel asks, tapping away at his laptop. “And you’re actually going to get on a plane, fly halfway across the country, and stay with this person you’ve never met before?”

Cas glares down at the counter, trying not to snap at his roommate. He’s talked about this before with Uriel and many of his friends, but he trusts Dean and Sam.

“Uriel,” Cas sighs, setting down the spoon and turning around. “Just because Dean and I have never spoken in person doesn’t mean I don’t know him. I’ve spoken with him more in the last year then I’ve spoken with most of my coworkers. We’ve talked on the phone, we’ve skyped. I’ve met his brother—”

“Whom you’ve never met in person either.”

“That’s not the point, Uriel, and you know it,” Cas snaps. “Look, I know you’re trying to be supportive, but when you say shit like that it hurts.”

“I’m sorry, Castiel,” Uriel says contritely.

“Thank you,” Cas nods.

**SeaofBees:** Good Evening, Dean.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : Cas! done with work??  
 **SeaofBees** : Yes. How has your day been?  
 _ **Impala67**_ : better now that you’re here ;)  
 _ **Impala67:**_ how was work today?  
 **SeaofBees** : I don’t work on Thursdays, Dean…  
 _ **Impala67:**_ it’s thursday?  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean...  
 _ **Impala67:**_ what? you expect me to know the day of the week?  
 _ **Impala67**_ : your schedule is crazy and i simply can’t be bothered  
 **SeaofBees** : You are a strange strange man.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : thanks <3  
 **SeaofBees** : That wasn’t a… oh who am I kidding, that was totally a compliment  
 _ **Impala67**_ : :blushingface:  
 **SeaofBees:** Only two more months, my friend. <3  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i’m excited to see you <3

Sometimes, Cas lays in bed at night, thinking about what his life was like before he met Dean Winchester last December. It wasn’t bad, per se, but it definitely wasn’t as good as it is now.

He’d been on an exchange in Norway when he’d joined a discord server for his favorite television program, Dr. Sexy. After joining Seattle General, the name of the blessing and a curse of a server, Cas had been eager to participate in conversations but he hadn’t known how.

As time went on, he slowly became more comfortable and started talking in specific channels of the server. His favorite channel was the writing channel, where he could get help from other server members for the fics that he was working on. Cas had been writing for four years and this was the first place that offered something like that.

Cas remembers seeing Dean in the server, watching him talk to the others, but not able to join in the conversations. He still doesn’t know if it was because he felt shy or intimidated. People would ask for advice and Dean’s answers would be well thought out and accurate to the show.

He’d been working on a fic where Johnny Drake and the sexy yet neurotic doctor, Dr. Ramoray had gone on a hike in the woods and gotten lost. They’d ended up stuck in a cabin but Cas had no idea how to end the fic. He’d gone to a channel in the server where he could ask editors for help and sent his request out into the ether, hoping for a response from someone he would be able to work with.

Dean had responded and the rest was, as they say, history.

Working with Dean on the fic was both challenging and refreshing. Their senses of humor worked well together, so even when Cas got frustrated with his own writing, Dean made him laugh. Dean’s critiques and suggestions were accurate and Cas’ writing was better for it.

At the bottom of that document, there are nine pages of interactions to mark the beginning of their friendship and what Cas hopes will someday be more.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Impala67:**_ why are you always busy?  
 **SeaofBees** : I have school  
 **SeaofBees:** And work  
 **SeaofBees** : And homework  
 _ **Impala67:**_ and?  
 **SeaofBees** : And what?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ i don’t like it when you’re busy  
 **SeaofBee** s: I don’t like it either.  
 **SeaofBees** : I’d much rather talk to you than do homework.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : you’d rather do anything than do homework…  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i’m not special  
 **SeaofBees** : Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** I am literally flying to Kansas to visit you.  
 **SeaofBees:** Why the hell would you think you’re not special?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ it’s nothing  
 **SeaofBees** : Dean…  
 _ **Impala67**_ : cas  
 **SeaofBees** : :c  
 **SeaofBees** : I am glad you are my friend. <3  
 _ **Impala67:**_ me too  
 _ **Impala67:**_ <3

Juggling his work and medical school is a challenge. Most of the time. He’s been an EMT since his junior year of undergrad and wouldn’t trade the job for anything, but it is exhausting. He works three days a week and has classes the other four days. He rarely has a day off.

Thursdays are his favorite. He has one class from two to five and then goes to the agriculture club on campus, where he is a mentor for the undergrads. There’s a small garden between two of the dorm buildings on the west side of campus where they learn about different farming techniques for different plants. When the plants, vegetables mainly, are ready to be harvested, they donate them to the campus food pantry.

He also likes Thursdays because he gets to talk more with Dean. They talk every day, usually about the inane things “how was your day?” or “look at the meme I found!”. Sometimes, though, they talk about the things they’d never share with anyone else.

Dean knows more about Cas than Cas’ siblings do.

_**Impala67**_ : cassssssssssss  
 _ **Impala67**_ : cas, talk to me i’m bored  
 **SeaofBees** : Hi bored, I’m Cas.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ cas  
 **SeaofBees** : You set yourself up for that. I cannot be blamed. (edited)  
 _ **Impala67:**_ i’m blaming you anyway  
 **SeaofBees:** Be that as it may  
 **SeaofBees:** But you’re wrong.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : how’re you today?  
 **SeaofBees** : Good, club went well and it looks like the corn is going to be ready in the next couple weeks.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ i can’t believe my best friend is a farmer.  
 **SeaofBees:** I’m an EMT, Dean. The agriculture club is just a hobby.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : and the bees?  
 **SeaofBees** : Bees are a vital part of the ecology of the earth.  
 **SeaofBees:** There are over 20,000 bee species on this planet and they all need to be protected.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : ooohhh… speak nerdy to me cas  
 **SeaofBees:** Did you know that when a male bee (typically in honeybee species) copulates with the queen bee, there will be a popping sound as he ejaculates because his penis explodes.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ well  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i do now  
 **SeaofBees** : Honeybees also see in shades of blue and green.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : like your eyes are blue, and mine are green.  
 **SeaofBees** : Like our eyes, Dean.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : lol we sent that at the same time  
 _ **Impala67:**_ that’s pretty neat tho  
 _ **Impala67**_ : imagine if we saw things in the colors that our eyes were?  
 **SeaofBees** : But then I wouldn’t be able to see the color of your eyes… I don’t want that.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ sap

Cas stares at the page blankly. He has so many ideas but no clue what to write. His fingers hover over the keyboard and with a groan, he drops them down. The gibberish that appears on the screen is quite satisfying. If he could write the whole story that way, he would.

 **SeaofBees** : I can’t write.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ what do you mean you can’t write  
 **SeaofBees:** I mean, the words are in my head  
 **SeaofBees:** And I know what I want to happen  
 **SeaofBees:** But actually writing the words???  
 **SeaofBee** s: Impossible.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : want me to take a look?  
 **SeaofBees:** Please.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ alright. send me the link

Cas copies the link from the doc and sends it to Dean. He sits at his desk, staring blankly at the screen, waiting for Dean to join him so he can figure out how to keep the story moving along.

 _ **Impala67**_ : i cant open it lmao  
 **SeaofBees:** fucking google

He resends the link, this time with all the correct permissions.

Cas loves how well he and Dean work together. Whenever Cas gets stuck on something, a word doesn’t fit in the sentence right or the characters aren’t reacting to something like themselves, Dean is there with a suggestion.

Cas especially enjoys when Dean doesn’t think he’s going to go with it. Dean will make a suggestion, sometimes snarky, sometimes intentionally crude and Cas will add it to the fic, knowing Dean wasn’t being serious.

 _ **Impala67:**_ hey, why’d you stop?  
 **SeaofBees:** This is a kissing scene…  
 _ **Impala67:**_ and?  
 **SeaofBees** : And I’ve never kissed anyone. How do kisses work?  
 **SeaofBees:** I’ve actually kissed one person but it was awkward and not at all how this would go.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : you can tell when someone has been in love before by the way they write.  
 **SeaofBees** : Very very true.  
 **SeaofBees** : I have not and it shows.  
 _ **Impala6** **7**_ : what does mine say haha

Cas thinks about Dean’s writing, the way it makes him feel so much. Dean makes you watch the characters fall in love. He pulls you into the story, gets you emotionally invested, and then he tears out your heart. Cas isn’t usually invested in stories like that, angst without a happy ending, but with Dean’s writing, it works.

He’s seen the fluff Dean writes in his fics, fluff that has clearly been experienced, and Cas’ heart clenches. He wants that for himself.

 **SeaofBees:** It says you have and it’s the good kind. The cheesy shit that I eat up while reading fic.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ wait, really?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ damn, i’m good.

Oh.

Nice.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Impala67:**_ cassssssssssss ssssss sss  
 **SeaofBees** : Deeeeeaaaaan  
 _ **Impala67**_ : hi  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i cant sleep  
 **SeaofBees** : I gathered.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ what are you doing?  
 **SeaofBees** : homework  
 _ **Impala67**_ : booooooooo  
 **SeaofBees:** Believe me, I know.  
 _ **Impala67:** _wanna vc?  
 **SeaofBees:** I can listen but I can’t talk.  
 _ **Impala67:**_ boooo  
 **SeaofBees** : I’m in a library, Dean. It’d be rude.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : **boooooooo**  
 _Incoming call_  
 **SeaofBees** : Hello, Dean  
“Can you hear me?”  
 **SeaofBees:** Yes, Dean.  
“Nice. What are you working on?”  
 **SeaofBees:** The appropriate reaction to various hypothetical medical situations with regards to various health care policies.  
“Neat”  
 **SeaofBees** : Tedious.  
“Also that.”  
 **SeaofBees:** I’ve got two more solutions to write and then I’m done for the night.  
“Awesome. Hey, Cas?”  
 **SeaofBees:** Yeah, Dean?”  
“How’d you get into medicine?”  
 **SeaofBees** : I like helping people.  
 **SeaofBees:** I don’t understand people very well. I tend to hover on the outsides of social groups, and while I have friends, I’m not super close with anyone.  
 **SeaofBees:** When I was younger I was really into fantasy novels where the mage or healer or whatever would heal their groupmates. To me, they were what kept the team functioning.  
 **SeaofBees:** I wanted to be like that  
 **SeaofBees** : But of course, magic isn’t real.  
“O-Of course.”  
 **SeaofBees:** So I decided to do the next best thing: become a doctor.  
 **SeaofBees** : Specifically a pediatrician.  
“That’s pretty cool man.”  
 **SeaofBees** : Thank you :blushingface:  
 **SeaofBees:** Why’d you become a mechanic?  
“My mom died when I was young.”  
 **SeaofBees** : Oh, Dean, I’m so sorry  
“It’s okay, Cas, it was a long time ago. Anyway, after she passed, my dad took me and my brother on one long road trip. I think I was six when he started teaching me how to take care of the car, my Baby. I knew more about that car than I knew about most subjects in school, honestly. So I just kept working on cars.”  
 **SeaofBees** : That sounds nice.  
 **SeaofBees:** You sound tired.  
“Gee, thanks.”  
 **SeaofBees** : You should sleep.  
“I’d rather talk to you.”  
 **SeaofBees** : I’d rather talk to you, too <3  
 **SeaofBees:** Tell me a story?

_**Impala67:** _when is your bday or did I miss it already?  
 **SeaofBees** : September 18th  
 _ **Impala67**_ : shit  
 **SeaofBees** : You have not missed it  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i have  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean, you did not know me last September  
 _ **Impala67:**_ i have failed  
 **SeaofBees** : Dean  
 **SeaofBees** : No  
 **SeaofBees:** Stop  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i just snorted  
 **SeaofBees** : you only missed 24 of them :shrug:  
 _ **Impala67**_ : so many  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i’m awful  
 **SeaofBees:** My birthdays have never been good days  
 _ **Impala67:** _oh right.  
 **SeaofBees** : I expect it will be better now that I know you.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : if i were to write you a fic for your bday what would you want  
 **SeaofBees** : Would it be weird to ask for a kink? I would kill for a feeding kink fic.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : Dude  
 _ **Impala67**_ : that’s my kink.

_**Impala67**_ : i forgot to tell you about a dream i had recently  
 **SeaofBees** : :ear:  
 _ **Impala67**_ : remember that fic you were working on where you stopped cause you had to write a kiss but had never kissed anyone so I wrote it out for you  
 **SeaofBees** : Yes  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i had a dream we were working on it in person and i was like "why did you stop???" and you're like "i’ve never been kissed before. i don’t know what to write." so i was like "alright. let me kiss you." and then i kissed you so you could write the scene and we hella laughed after  
 **SeaofBees** : Omg :joy: :joy: :joy:

Cas glances around the library to make sure no one is watching him before burying his face in his hands with a delighted smile. The thought of kissing Dean sends blood rushing to his cheeks and warmth pools in his stomach.

 _ **Impala67:** _right :joy:  
 **SeaofBees** : I’m trying so hard not to laugh right now

He’s not really laughing right now but Dean doesn’t need to know that.

 _ **Impala67**_ : you at the library?  
 **SeaofBees** : I’m always at the library  
 **SeaofBees** : That’s random though, that happened months ago  
 _ **Impala67**_ : i know right? but im pretty sure i read somewhere that kissing and sex dreams in nature are about your comfort level with another person and we werent like bffs then

Cas feels heat rush south and has to shift in his seat to hide his reaction to the thought of sex with Dean.

 **SeaofBees** : True  
 **SeaofBees** : But then. I’ve had a sex dream about Rick Springfield and I just :question::question:  
 **SeaofBees** : The only one I’ve ever had.  
 **SeaofBees** : And it was with Rick Springfield.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : ok sex dreams about people you are sexually attracted to are different i think  
 _ **Impala67**_ : unless you don’t find him hot  
 _ **Impala67**_ : then i have no idea  
 **SeaofBees** : He’s got a nice face  
 **SeaofBees** : But I do not find him sexually attractive  
 _ **Imapala67**_ : He’s gotten better with age  
 **SeaofBees** : or anyone, really.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : you don’t have a crush on anyone?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ celebrities included? (edited)

If Cas were anyone else, this would be the perfect opportunity to tell Dean how he feels. But, since he is Cas, he hides it. Dean is his best friend and Cas doesn’t want his feelings to change that.

 **SeaofBees** : For me at least there’s a difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction  
 _ **Impala67**_ : yes of course  
 **SeaofBees** : I have, at one point or another, had some type of crush on most of my friends tho.  
 **SeaofBees** : So I find a lot of people physically attractive. But I’ve never found anyone sexually attractive.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : are you demisexual?  
 **SeaofBees** : Probably. I’ve never been close enough to anyone to find out tho.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : makes sense.  
 **SeaofBees** : What’s the saying “keep your friends close and push potential romantic partners so far away they stop talking to you?”  
 _ **Impala67**_ : well, i haven’t stopped talking to you  
 **SeaofBees:** For that I’m glad. You are my best friend, after all.

**SeaofBees** : ok so i drank more than i anticipated when i was out with my friend nd i'm not sober  
 **SeaofBees** : and im gonna write  
 **SeaofBees** : but I read our last convo on the story doc  
 **SeaofBees** : and legit teared up because I appreciate you and I'm so glad you're my friend :heart:

**SeaofBees:** I have successfully drank a liquor store and I need you to know you’re my best friend.

Cas rarely gets the opportunity or the inclination to get drunk. He’s struggled a lot in his life to be open with his affection, but it comes easier when he’s inebriated. He’s working on it, but it’s still difficult to be upfront about what he feels.

Which is probably why, five weeks from flying to see Dean he’s staring at his phone like an idiot.

 **SeaofBees** : Deaaannnn, I can’t figure this fic out. Help, please?  
 _ **Impala67**_ : hey man, i’m going out tonight but i’ll take a look when i get home  
 **SeaofBees:** Oh, okay. Have fun.

It feels wrong to be upset about this. Cas has no say in what Dean is and isn’t allowed to do, of course. He’s pretty sure Dean is going on a date though, and that hurts Cas more than he thought it would.

He reads back through their messages, searching for clues that Dean is seeing someone. There’s nothing there, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Cas sets his phone to the side and falls back onto his bed, hitting his head on the wall with a thud.

“Shit,” Cas curses rubbing the back of his head and blinking away the tears burning in his eyes. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Letting his walls down and opening up to Dean had obviously been a mistake. When Cas falls for someone, he falls hard. It feels like that moment right before falling asleep where your heart rate drops too low and you feel like you’re going to fall. One moment he’s fine, the next moment he’s in love.

Cas feels like he’s missed his chance though. Dean is going out tonight and Cas is sitting in his room with an aching heart.

_**Impala67:** _hey cas, just got home, what’s goin on with the fic?  
 **Impala67:** Cas?

Cas stares at the messages with a frown as he takes another bite of his cereal. He doesn’t know how to respond, so instead, he thumbs over to his books app and picks one of the fics he has downloaded to read.

When he can’t find anything, Cas opens up discord and browses through the server for a bit. Unfortunately, there’s no one on that Cas talks to, so he closes out of that quickly.

He’d much rather talk to Dean.

Cas opens their messages again and is reminded why talking with Dean is not an option right now.

Dean had a date last night. He hadn’t gotten home until early in the morning.

Cas is in love with Dean.

It’s pretty clear they’re not in the same boat, which Cas needs time to adjust to.

So yeah, talking to Dean is a bad idea.

 _ **Impala67**_ : good morning

Cas doesn’t respond. Instead, he tries to work on the fic on his own. When it results in more keyboard smashes than is probably safe for his laptop and several more messages from Dean, Cas goes for a run.

He doesn’t think about Dean when he runs. His mind empties itself of everything but the music pounding in his ears, the feeling of his breath leaving his chest, and the road in front of him. The first half-hour burns. His chest aches but slowly his body adjusts to the exercise. He keeps in shape for his job but starting has always sucked and always would.

The ringing of his phone interrupting the music startles Cas and he pulls to a stop. He takes a moment to catch his breath before he looks at it.

“Dean,” Cas says, answering the phone reluctantly.

“Cas, dude, are you okay?” Dean asks worriedly. His voice sounds raspy and odd. Cas feels a stab of concern but keeps his mouth shut.

“I’m—” Cas coughs to clear his throat. “I’m fine, Dean.”

“You’re ignoring my messages, Cas. That doesn’t sound like fine to me.” Dean pauses before adding, “Also you’re panting. Where are you?”

“I’m on a run, Dean.”

“Oh, okay.” Dean clears his throat before swallowing heavily. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What’s wrong with your voice?” Cas asks, the words sounding stilted even to his own ears.

“It hurts because I was nearly choked to death last night, but clearly we’re fighting here so I’m gonna go.”

“Wait,” Cas calls, loud enough to startle a pigeon into flight. “What the hell do you mean you almost died last night?”

“I didn’t say I almost died.”

“Dean,” Cas frowns. “If this is your way of telling me you were on a date last night, I sure as hell don’t appreciate it.”

“On a—No, Cas, I wasn’t on a date last night. I was hunting.”

“Hunting?” Cas hesitates, “Like a deer?”

“No, not a deer, Cas.”

“Then what?”

“A werewolf.”

“A what?” Cas feels a stab of pain in his chest, positive Dean is lying to him.

“A werewolf, Cas,” Dean says. “It’s what I do. Me and Sammy. We hunt monsters. The things that go bump in the night.”

“You’re lying,” Cas responds, the hurt evident in his voice. “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not—Cas no, listen. I didn’t want to, no. I didn’t know how to tell you,” Dean sounds nervous now and Cas hates how much he doesn’t like that. “I’m not crazy, I swear. I’ve been hunting monsters since I was a kid. It’s what my dad did, and my mom too, apparently. It’s the family business.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“How can I prove it to you?”

Cas takes a moment to think about it. He wants so much for Dean to be telling the truth because the alternative would break his heart.

“I need to be home for this, let me call you back.”

“Okay,” Dean says breathlessly. “I’m sorry, Cas. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know, Dean,” Cas closes his eyes briefly, hoping Dean is telling the truth. “I know.”

Cas pockets his phone and quickly makes his way back to his apartment. He closes the door to his bedroom, but since he can’t lock it, he puts his chair in front of it. He wants to be sure he’ll be alone.

 **SeaofBees:** Send me a picture of a werewolf

Cas sends the message and then calls Dean back. He’s not sure if he can get his voice to work right now.

“Cas,” Dean breathes with relief evident in his tone. “You’re back.”

“I said I’d call back,” Cas manages after clearing his throat. “The picture?”

“Hang on a sec,” Dean says. Cas can

Cas opens his laptop and pulls up Google. He quickly searches for images of a werewolf, planning to compare the results to the image Dean sends.

“Okay,” Dean says just before the notification appears on Cas’ phone.

The picture he receives looks like nothing on the webpage in front of him. The werewolf Dean sent, for one, still looks disturbingly human. Cas can see fangs protruding from its jaw, yellow eyes, and claws that look like they could tear him to pieces.

“Holy shit, Dean,” Cas murmurs, looking back and forth between the werewolf and Google. “Tell me what happened last night.”

“It was a routine hunt, it was fine.”

“You said you were almost choked to death, Dean,” Cas says a lot more steadily than he feels. “Tell me what happened.”

“The usual thing that happens on a hunt—”

“I’m gonna need you to break it down for me, Dean,” Cas interrupts firmly. “I’m still not sure I believe you.”

“There were reports of animal attacks Sam found that sounded like they’d be our kinda thing,” Dean says before clearing his throat nervously. “The vics—victims—were missing their hearts. So, Sam and I drove over to Colorado and spoke with the coroner. Once we had more information Sam hit the books while I interviewed the families of the vics. We figured it was a werewolf so we waited for dark, loaded our guns with silver bullets, and went to gank the bastard.”

“How’d you get hurt?”

“I was an idiot, there was more than one wolf and while I was fighting off one of them another one got the drop on me. Sam shot both of them before I got really hurt.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Cas, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this—”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Yes,” Dean replies automatically. “I just didn’t know how. Cas, man, you gotta believe me. I thought—I don’t want to lose you. Cas, I love you.”

“Holy shit.”

“And I get it if this is too much, or if you don’t feel the same or whatever. I just need you to know that I—”

“I love you, too.”

“Oh, thank fuck.”

Cas snorts into the phone and feels his shoulders relax as relief washes through him. He can’t stop the grin spreading on his face and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to.

“Hey, Dean?” Cas asks after a few minutes of listening to Dean’s breathing.

“Yeah, Cas?”

“I love you.”

**SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 _ **Impala67**_ : yeah cas?  
 **SeaofBees:** Dean  
 **SeaofBees** : What do you want for Christmas?  
 _ **Impala67:**_ you  
 **SeaofBees** : :music: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS ISSSSS YOUUUUU  
 _ **Impala67:**_ goddammit  
 _ **Impala67**_ : pie  
 **SeaofBees:** I cannot take pie on a plane.  
 ** _Impala67_ :** if you really loved me you would  
 **SeaofBees:** I do really love you and I will not.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : :sob:  
 _ **Impala67:**_ so we’re doing presents?  
 **SeaofBees:** yes  
 _ **Impala67:**_ what do you want?  
 **SeaofBees:** Bees.  
 **SeaofBees** : And to see you  
 **SeaofBees:** And hug you  
 **SeaofBees:** And hold you in my arms as we fall asleep at night.  
 **SeaofBees:** Finally where we’re both supposed to be  
 _ **Impala67:**_ <3

There are not as many people at the airport as Cas expects when he gets dropped off. He pulls up his boarding pass on his phone to make sure that it loads properly before getting in the line for security. The wait is not bad, and thankfully he has Dean to talk to.

 **SeaofBees** : I’m at the airport!  
 _ **Impala67:**_ I AM SCREAMING  
 **SeaofBees:** I feel like I’ve forgotten something, but I know I haven’t.

Cas double checks his boarding pass and passport as the line moves forward. Flying is second nature to him, he loves being in the air on wings made of metal, but he hates going through security.

 **SeaofBees:** Made it through security :D  
 _ **Impala67**_ : so fuckong excited!!!

  
When he manages to put his shoes back on and makes it out of security, Cas feels a profound sense of relief. He has a layover in Denver and then Dean is picking him up at the airport in Omaha. From there it’s a three-hour drive to Dean’s home but Cas is okay with that.

Cas quickly boards the train from the main terminal to the S gates. He’s been in the airport enough to know his way around. He finds his gate with ease and chooses a seat near the windows where he can watch the other airplanes take off.

Time flows differently in airports. Cas has tried to describe the feeling before but he can’t find the words to encapsulate it. There’s no telling how fast time will pass while he waits.

The flight to Denver is overbooked so Cas accepts the offer to have his carryon loaded into the hold of the plane. He gets to board with the main cabin now and it doesn’t make much of a difference but he feels closer to seeing Dean.

The flight itself is nothing to write home about. He doesn’t sleep well on planes so Cas watches Doctor Sexy until he runs out of episodes. He ends the flight listening to music.

 _ **Impala67:**_ YOU’RE LANDING SOON!  
 **SeaofBees:** I AM  
 _ **Impala67**_ : AHHHHH  
 _ **Impala67:**_ CASSSS  
 _ **Impala67:** _GOOD MORNING  
 **SeaofBees:** Good morning! I’ve not slept! My eyes hurt!! I am so excited!!!!!

With three hours before his flight, Cas decides to walk around the airport. He’s flying with Delta and his gate is in concourse C. He takes the train there and once he finds his gate, he explores.

 **SeaofBees** : I have walked around this entire terminal  
 **SeaofBees:** And there is not a single Starbucks  
 **SeaofBees** : But I have found tea so there is no need to worry.  
 **SeaofBees:** I will survive.  
 _ **Impala67**_ : good  
 **SeaofBees** : I cannot wait to see you.  
 _ **Impala67:** _soon, sweetheart, soon.  
 **SeaofBees:** So soon <3

Cas spends some time working on his latest fic as he waits for boarding to start. While he prefers writing in the comfort of his own home, he likes the productiveness he feels in liminal spaces like libraries and airports.

The flight to Omaha is long enough that Cas tries to sleep but he’s jittering with excitement the entire time. Meeting Dean in person is everything he’s wanted since they started to talk nearly a year ago. Even before he fell in love with Dean, the green-eyed man was his best friend. Soon, Cas will be able to kiss Dean for real instead of fantasizing about it.

 **SeaofBees:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
 _ **Impala67**_ : DID YOU JUST LAND  
 _ **Impala67**_ : OH MY GOD  
 _ **Impala67:** _WE ARE IN THE SAME PLACE RIGHT NOW

Cas’ hands started to shake as the plane turned towards the airport. All of his nerves and excitement hitting him at once.

 **SeaofBees:** We’re taxi-ing to the airport now!  
 _ **Impala67**_ : CASSSSSS  
 **SeaofBees** : Holy shit!!!  
 _ **Impala67:** _AHHHHHHHHHH  
 **SeaofBees** : DEAAAANNNNNNNNNN  
 **SeaofBees:** We made it to the gate. They’re setting up to deplane.

The worst part of any flight is getting off the plane. Cas tries to be patient as the other passengers slowly trickle their way out in front of him.

 _ **Impala67:**_ GET OFF THE PLANNEEE  
 **SeaofBees:** IM TRYINg  
 **SeaofBees:** I can’t just jump off the plane  
 **SeaofBees:** That’s illegal  
 _ **Impala67**_ : CANT WAIT  
 **SeaofBees** : DEPLANED!

Cas is sure that as he looks for the exit with a giant grin on his face he gets more than one weird look.

 **SeaofBees:** found the exit

The escalator down to baggage claim is probably the slowest escalator Cas has ever been on as he looks through the glass doors, trying to spot Dean. Cas sees the man of his dreams, holding a handmade sign, and starts to run to him. A security guard steps in front of him and Cas has to slow down until he makes it through the doors. Then there’s nothing in his way as he sprints into Dean’s arms.

Cas has to hold back tears as he holds Dean as tight as possible to him.

“Holy shit,” Dean whispers harshly, arms wrapped tightly around Cas’ waist. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Cas repeats into his neck as Dean lifts him off the ground like Cas isn’t five foot eleven. “I am actually here.”

When Cas is back on the ground he pulls away, his arms still around Dean’s shoulders, and looks into Dean’s eyes. He doesn’t know who moved first but soft lips meet his own in a gentle kiss. Before this moment, Cas didn’t know what his future looked like, but he’s positive it looks like this. Dean in his arms, warm hands pressing him closer, and the taste of home on his lips.


	4. Epilogue

**Four Years Later**

Cas smiles as he gets into his Continental, a car that he loves and Dean loathes. It’s his first Christmas living in the bunker and he’s excited to spend it with Dean and Sam. Waiting to start his residency before moving had been difficult, especially with Dean being more open about his hunts, but Cas is glad that they waited.

The drive to the bunker passes quickly and soon Cas is pulling into the garage. He parks next to Dean’s beloved Baby. Cas grabs his gift for Dean from his glovebox, putting it in the pocket of his trench coat, before heading inside.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean greets, pulling Cas into a warm kiss as he walks into the kitchen.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas rests their foreheads together and can’t help getting lost in Dean’s eyes.

“Missed waking up with you this morning.”

“Always miss you,” Cas murmurs, kissing Dean on the cheek. “What’s for breakfast, honey?”

“Bacon, pancakes, and that fruity shit you like.”

“You mean fruit?” Cas asks pointedly, gesturing to the strawberries on the table.

“Yes, fruit,” Dean grins, kissing Cas again before threading their hands together and pulling him from the kitchen. “But first we have to open presents. After that its nap time for you. Then we can have breakfast.”

“I love you.”

“I know,” Dean looks back with a grin and winks at Cas. “I’m joining you for that nap, too.”

“I would expect nothing less.”

Cas hears Sam’s fake gag come from the library and smiles warmly as Cas and Dean enter the room. He enjoys messing with Sam as much as Dean does, but since Sam helped him pick out Dean’s present, he figures he should let the man be for now.

“I heard tell of presents,” Cas says, sitting down on the couch they had placed in front of a Christmas tree and pulling Dean down next to him. He curls up into his boyfriend’s side and smiles at the kiss Dean places on his head.

The tree sits in the corner of the library. There aren’t many ornaments on it, but the lights still fill the room with a soft glow that feels magical to Cas. All of the presents except the one in Cas’ pocket sit at the base of the tree. He’s taken several pictures of it already but can’t help pulling his phone out to take one more.

“Sammy, you want to do the honors?” Dean asks, gesturing to the tree.

“Sure,” Sam agrees, going to the tree to hand out the presents.

Once everything is distributed they take turns opening the gifts up.

Dean gives Sam a coupon book for haircuts.

“Thanks, Dean,” Sam says, glaring at his brother who just grins back.

While Cas gives him a book on the ancient languages of South America.

“How did you get this, Cas?” Sam asks excitedly, reminding Cas of a golden retriever. “This is nearly impossible to get!”

“I have my ways,” Cas says with a shrug.

“Well, thank you.”

“Of course, Sam.”

Cas gets a book about bees from Sam and a jar of citrus honey he’d been talking about for months from Dean.

“Thank you, Sam,” Cas smiles down at the book before looking at the taller man. “I love it.”

He kisses Dean deeply, making sure the green-eyed man knows exactly how much Cas appreciates his gift.

Sam gives Dean a box of condoms with a sly grin. Dean flips him off.

Cas shifts nervously as Dean opens his first gift.

“Look behind the tree?” Dean reads, glancing at Cas with a raised brow before standing up from the couch.

Cas glances at Sam nervously as Dean walks to the tree. He takes a deep breath before grabbing Dean’s main gift from his pocket and slipping down to one knee.

He can see the moment Dean realizes what’s happening when he turns to where Cas is kneeling with a small box in his hands.

“Dean,” Cas starts, clearing his throat nervously when his voice cracks. “Knowing you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I need you in my life. You’re my best friend, my family, and my love. Will you marry me?”

“Cas,” Dean’s breath hitches as he falls to his knees in front of him. “I fucking love you, sweetheart. Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Thank fuck,” Cas says with tears rolling down his cheeks as he pulls Dean into a kiss that is more teeth than lips, both of them smiling too much for anything more.

Dean pulls away with a wet chuckle, surreptitiously wiping at his cheeks. Cas pulls the ring out of the box and slips it onto Dean’s finger. The grey tungsten ring with a blue band in the center fits perfectly.

“There’s one more thing for you, Cas. One sec.”

Cas watches appreciatively as Dean walks to one of the bookshelves and grabs a small box.

“No way,” Cas says, the smile on his face growing. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Dean agrees, kneeling in front of Cas. “You took the words right out of my mouth, Cas. Marry me?”

“Yes, Dean,” Cas throws his arms around Dean, knocking him to the ground. “Of course.”

“Cas,” Dean says, resting his forehead against Cas’. Laughter dancing in his bright green eyes as he slips a grey tungsten ring with a green gem inlaid onto Cas’ ring finger.

“Congratulations,” Sam says once they’re standing again. He pulls both men into a hug. “You both deserve it.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Cas grins, hugging Sam tight.

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean says, slapping Sam on the back before stepping back and grabbing Cas’ hand.

“I’m going to give you space now,” Sam says with a grin, holding up the keys to Impala. “Be safe.”

“Take a nap with me?” Dean asks when they hear the door to the garage close.

“Okay.” Cas nods smiling softly. He walks to the bedroom with Dean, gripping his hand tight.

Cas toes off his shoes and starts working on his trenchcoat when Dean steps forward to help. He grins as Dean pulls the coat off from behind him then steps around so they’re facing each other.

“My very own doctor sexy,” Dean grins, his eyes sweeping over Cas’ body.

Cas grabs the front of Dean’s shirt and pulls him into a heated kiss.

“My very own sexy hunter,” Cas murmurs into Dean’s mouth before pulling back. “Let’s get you out of these clothes.”

“Only if we get you out of yours.”

Soon, they’re lying naked on the bed facing each other with matching grins. Cas reaches out and grabs Dean’s left hand, kissing the ring softly.

“How did I get so damn lucky?” Dean questions gently, cupping Cas’ cheek. “You’re gorgeous, smart, kind, funny—”

“Exhausted.”

“I am trying to sweet here, Cas.”

“You can be sweet after we take a nap, sap,” Cas says as he rolls over so he can be little spoon.

Dean turns off the lamp before pulling Cas into his arms, placing a kiss on the top of Cas’ head.

“Hey, Dean,” Cas says after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“Yes, Cas?”

“I love you.”

The end

**Author's Note:**

> Join us on the [Profound Bond Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/profoundbond)


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